A Sarcastic & Politically Incorrect Boring Read

It’s not important why this was made in the heat of summer. What’s important is that you’ll have this recipe to save for the dead of winter.

You can thank us when it’s 20 below out your door, and you just want to eat. And hibernate. And drink dark beer.

Just kidding, no need to thank us.

So this week enjoy annoying social media posts about food and cooking and eating and a little glimpse into life.

Tweak the recipe to your likings.

A gallon of parmesan is just a guideline.

That was sarcasm.

It’s not a guideline. It’s a demand.

That was sarcasm, and now you’re just confused.

Don’t use a gallon.

Moving on. We’ll get to the parmesan later.

Garlic and butta’ really should be an air freshener scent. I’ll be emailing Bath & Body Works soon. Or Yankee Candle Co. Whoever would like to pick it up first.

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Mmmm, cream cheese because we like it rich.

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The aforementioned gallon of parmesean cheese. At this point, I was distracted, didn’t dump it in gradually. I immediately panicked thinking it was ruined, but the next step remedied it. Crisis averted.

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Whisk in half n’ half or whole milk or skim milk if you’re a sissy.

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Again, sarcasm. Any milk works.

Add the suga’.

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Do as the picture says. Add nutmeg. Don’t drop it.

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Sure does smell good, though!

Add salt n’ peppa.

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Yep, next, chicken! Again, white or dark chicken. Okay. All chickens matter.

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Noodols! According to the 2-year-old.

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Parsley makes things look pretty. It’s not necessary.

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Kids like it too!

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And, yes, eat outside at any chance given.

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Then the kids fell asleep after we danced around the fire to the sleep gods.

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We sat there, unable to utter a word, utterly exhausted. Or was it because we ate too much? Probably the latter.

Oh, and they drew pretty pictures while the mama didst cooketh.

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Anyway, that was a Monday night. I don’t think we ate the rest of the week. I can’t even remember the rest of that week.

Remember, kids, eat this in moderation. Don’t say we didn’t warn ya.

See ya’ later, alligators.

Oh, shoot, you probably want the actual recipe. My bad. Here it is before I go.

Grocery List:

8 ounces cream cheese, cubed

1 stick of butter

1/2 container of grated parmesan cheese

3/4 cup half n’ half or milk, more or less for desired thickness

1/2 teaspoon white or black pepper, more or less to taste 1 tablespoon crushed garlic, again more or less

1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon sugar

Parsley for garnish

8 ounces, give or take,  fettuccine or penne, cooked, drained

Penne for us because it’s easier for the toddler to eat.

Directions:

Melt one stick of butter.  Add garlic.  Add cream cheese and melt.  Then add parmesan, salt, pepper, sugar, and nutmeg.  Add milk or half n’ half until creamy as you like. Server over noodles. Garnish with parsley. We always grill up a chicken breast per family member to add as well — on top, or chop up and put in the sauce mixture as I did this time around!

Remember, kids, let’s think before we Pokémon Go. Talking and growing relationships with your fellow humans still takes the cake compared to capturing fictional characters.

Now I want cake.

Cheers!

Beer from the east coast!

Can’t wait to spoil a new beer trading couple with some Midwest nectar of the gods!

This was all marvelous! And gone way too fast.

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And now I’m thirsty.

K. Bye.

S|S

 

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